So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
