I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
