you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Drake has all the answers
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
