he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
