Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
