how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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