Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
