I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
