I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
we're making bets on your personal life
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
