I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
