Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
