Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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