grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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