It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
