dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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