me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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