Whod you bang
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
