Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
