If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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