i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
It's just like the Real World with babies
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
