It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
