I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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