did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
