I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
