Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
