currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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