don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
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