I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
