so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
