me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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