This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
