I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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