I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
