The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
