Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
