i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
