so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
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