her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
