Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
