chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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