you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
When did we convert life to cartoon?
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
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