i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
birth control should be required to get into college
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
