apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
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