My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Randomize
