I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I'm at about main and main street
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize
