Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
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