So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Randomize
