The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
