moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
