Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
